Impossible dream

Last october, I was alone and scared...
Pregnant with an angel. There Was no way I was ever going to place her. She was my baby...I was going to raise her.
I used to imagine her, Taking her to school, siting her on the counter and watching me cook. Her sneaking into my bed late at night when the monsters were in her closet...Little things, but such presious things.
I will never be her mother, But I will always long to be, I will always ache.
I've never loved a little life more, I've never loved anybody more.
I miss going in weekly and listening to calmness of her heartbeat,
I carried her, My part is done.
But I will always be dreaming the impossible dream.
The one where she is mine, where she comes to me.
I'm trusting Her mother to live this dream, For both of her mothers.
To raise her and be there every waking moment she needs her.
To charish every lil thing she does.
To place her tiny feet on the right path.
To teach and love her.
To be the mother I wished I could have been to her.
Someday I hope she feels I didnt abandon her. That I love her, And I wanted so badly to be her mommy.
But she deserved everything and more. She is the brightest star in all the universe.
So I'll cry today and for along time.
There will forever be an empty space where she stood in my life.
I will never ever forget her.