shawdows of my heart...

It feels like it was yesterday I was leaning over my bathroom counter, sweating, my hands shaking. Watching in shock a the pregnancy test as a blue positive line appeared in the window.
Here I stand 7 months later, it's amazing how much has changed.
But one that has not Is the love I feel for my daughter, It grows stronger each moment....
I'm somewhere between fear and happiness. Happy for the life my angel gets to live, And I'm so terrifed for the day of delivery. I guess mostly for my self, I know it's coming and apart of me wants to hold on to my little's finger forever. To be the one to raise her. To be there every moment she needs me. And I need her.
I see other little girls and there mommys, and apart of my soul aches, I want to be like that.
But I know I'm doing the right thing...however that doesnt change the pain.
This is my daughter, This is the reason for my breathing.
She is everything to me, And everything I wish I could have.
I only hope she will come to forgive me someday for the choice I made.
Theres so much emotion, It's so overwhelming.
And underneath all the pain and the ache, theres a feeling of peace.
I miss her.
And even if this feels like the end, I know it's not.
She will always be my heaven sent angel. I will always be her birthmom.
And someday with her and her parents i will reside with them in heaven.
I love you Avery,
Always remember that.
















o